Adventures in Multicultural Living: A tale of three tea parties--gestures of concern, respect, graciousness - AnnArbor.com

from IMDiversity.com Asian American Village Editor Frances Kai-Hwa Wang:

A girlfriend was recently reminiscing about the Friday afternoon high teas at Smith College, a tradition held over from a previous era, although by the time she was there, most of the young women came to high tea wearing jeans rather than dresses and white gloves. Still, there was something warm and reassuring about coming home at the end of a long week and finding pots of tea and loads of cookies (especially the cookies) prepared and waiting for you, welcoming you home.

At the Japan Cultural Festival last weekend, I slowed down (for once) long enough to watch a Japanese tea ceremony. A younger kimono-clad woman carefully and meticulously prepared and presented a bowl of tea to an older woman. She brewed the water on an old fashioned brazier, scooped the water out with a long-handled bamboo ladle, stirred the tea with a little bamboo whisk, and poured the tea into a wide-mouthed bowl. Her body movements were disciplined and deliberate. The older woman sat silently and waited patiently for her tea. The relationship between the women could be read like a dance, the care and respect with which the younger woman made and served the tea to the older woman was moving. Everything was in the details, details that nobody has time for anymore. (And so nice to see during Women’s History Month.) Off to the side of the tatami stage, several kimono-clad women made more of the bitter green tea for the audience members and offered each cup with both hands raised. (click on link for more)

A tale of three tea parties--gestures of concern, respect, graciousness - AnnArbor.com

Photo Courtesy of University of Michigan's Center for Japanese Studies

Adventures in Multicultural Living: Contrasting colors of Japanese Quiz Bowl and Japan Cultural Festival - AnnArbor.com

From IMDiversity.com Asian American Village editor, Frances Kai-Hwa Wang:

For the past few weeks, my kids have been doing nothing but getting ready for Japanese Quiz Bowl! Extra classes, extra homework, extra studying, extra emails from teachers, extra study sessions with classmates—and I do not have to say a thing. Japanese Quiz Bowl is serious business.

According to the University of Michigan Center for Japanese Studies, this 17th annual competition, which took place Saturday, March 20, at the University of Michigan, had approximately 375 students from 26 elementary and secondary schools from across the state competing in six different divisions.

Bet you did not know that 26 elementary and secondary schools in Michigan teach Japanese as a foreign language. (click on link for more)

Photo: Last year’s team from Ohara Language School

Contrasting colors of Japanese Quiz Bowl and Japan Cultural Festival - AnnArbor.com

Adventures in Multicultural Living Kiss Me I'm Irish. or Italian! Kiss Me I'm Chinese? Wearing our cultural pride on St. Patrick's Day - AnnArbor.com

From IMDiversity.com Asian American Village editor Frances Kai-Hwa Wang, Adventures in Multicultural Living:

I used to think that St. Patrick’s Day was a national holiday.

I attended Catholic schools in Los Angeles, and all the Bishops at the time, the ones who set the calendars for all the Catholic schools in the Archdiocese, were Irish. Thus St. Patrick’s Day was always a school holiday. Always. Along with Lincoln’s Birthday, Washington’s Birthday, and All Saint’s Day.

Then our school got a young new principal, Sister Nathaniel. She was Italian American, with dark brown bangs peeking out of her white habit, a matter-of-fact way of speaking, and a brisk efficient stride. She declared that since St. Joseph’s Day (March 19) was about the same time as St. Patrick’s Day (March 17), we would celebrate both saints’ days together.

I have often thought of this story as one which shows the difference one person can make. Because she was Italian American, she understood the importance of St. Joseph’s Day to our many Italian-American families; no one else even knew. (click on link for more)

Kiss Me I'm Irish. Kiss Me I'm Italian! Kiss Me I'm Chinese? Wearing our cultural pride on St. Patrick's Day - AnnArbor.com

Adventures in Multicultural Living: Reading, sharing, curating, and subverting books to expand the definition of normal - AnnArbor.com

From IMDiversity.com Asian American Village Editor Frances Kai-Hwa Wang:

I just finished reading Lac Su’s memoir, I Love Yous are for White People, a story about growing up poor and Vietnamese American in Los Angeles dodging gangs, alcohol, and an abusive father. It was a tough read, but a sobering reminder that many Asian Americans do not fit neatly into the model minority stereotype.

Now I am reading Bich Minh Nguyen’s memoir, Stealing Buddah’s Dinner, this year’s Michigan Humanities Council’s Great Michigan Read, about growing up Vietnamese American in suburban Grand Rapids and her fixation on American food.

Both writers ache to belong to the world around them. (click on link for more)

Reading, sharing, curating, and subverting books to expand the definition of normal - AnnArbor.com

Adventures in Multicultural Living: Winter Olympians of color - American like us - AnnArbor.com

From IMDiversity.com Asian American Village Editor Frances Kai-Hwa Wang

During the 2002 Salt Lake City Winter Olympics, my daughter M and her friend C, the only two Chinese-American girls in Mrs. Schroeder’s first-grade class, were excited about watching Michelle Kwan compete for the gold.

C was planning to invite Michelle to her upcoming 7th birthday party, an ice skating party at Buhr Park. M loved the video clip of Michelle eating dinner with her family—using the same bowls and chopsticks that we did. For them, Michelle was an admired “older sister” that they looked up to. None of the other first-grade girls really knew who Michelle Kwan even was, but after two weeks of hearing about Michelle Kwan every day in class and at soccer, every girl in that class stayed up late that final night of the Olympics to watch Michelle Kwan’s bittersweet final performance.

During those same 2002 Winter Olympics, Apolo Ohno crashed onto the scene with such a flurry of energy and style that we could not help but be transfixed by this hunky hapa “older brother” and the story of his dad’s tough love to keep him out of trouble. We laughed at the images of women fans and even Gov. Gary Locke sporting electrical tape soul patches in his honor. Add on the stories of speedskater Derek Parra who as the first Mexican-American Winter Olympian broke both world and American records, and bobsledder Vonetta Flowers who became the first African American to win a gold medal at the Winter Olympics, and we were complete converts. (click on link for more)

Winter Olympians of color - American like us - AnnArbor.com

Adventures in Multicultural Living: Chinese Lunar New Year feasting and family - AnnArbor.com

From IMDiversity.com Asian American Village Acting Editor Frances Kai-Hwa Wang:

The focal point of Chinese Lunar New Year celebration is gathering the whole extended family together for a big feast on New Year’s Eve.

Just as Thanksgiving has certain special foods that must be eaten like turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce and sweet potatoes with marshmallows, Chinese Lunar New Year’s Eve also features special food that must be eaten, each dish imbued with meaning and good wishes for the new year. A whole fish is served because the Chinese word for fish sounds like “more than enough” (and one must leave leftovers so there will be “plenty” “left over” in the new year). (click on link for more)

Chinese Lunar New Year feasting and family - AnnArbor.com

Discovering the meaning in Chinese New Year's celebrations - AnnArbor.com

From IMDiversity.com Asian American Village editor Frances Kai-Hwa Wang:

I never even heard of Chinese New Year until I was already 12 years old. We had recently moved from Los Angeles to San Jose, and I had just started attending Saturday morning Chinese School for the first time. One of our lessons was about Chinese New Year stories and customs. Of course, being only 12, I was most interested in the tradition of red envelopes, which contain gifts of money. I went home demanding to know why my brother and I had never before received red envelopes, and insisted on years of back pay.

My brother and I forced our parents to celebrate Chinese New Year that year. We invited all our relatives over for a big dinner of Mongolian hot pot and we made a special trip to the really far Chinese butcher’s for the extra-thin cuts of meat needed. Aunts No. 3 and 6 came with all our cousins, and we had so much fun with the house full of relatives, warm with gossip and food, that we did not even notice until everyone had left that we still did not get any red envelopes.

Every year after that, I would ask my parents what they were planning for Chinese New Year, and the usual response was, "Oh, I don’t even know when it is. I’ll have to check the Chinese calendar." If I was home, and insistent, then they would cook a meal and invite some relatives over; if not, then they would forget. They were modern Chinese who did not need these old world superstitions. But I did. (click on link for more)

Discovering the meaning in Chinese New Year's celebrations - AnnArbor.com

photo courtesy of Andrew Fang photasa.com

Frances Kai-Hwa Wang speaking at Eastern Michigan University

IMDiversity.com Asian American Village Editor Frances Kai-Hwa Wang will be speaking on (Raising) Women in the 21st Century at Eastern Michigan University for Chinese Week 2010 on Monday, February 8, 2010, 1:00 pm, 300 Halle Library.

Adventures in Multicultural Living: Raising confident daughters of color while not forgetting Obama is black - AnnArbor.com

From IMDiversity.com Asian American Village Editor Frances Kai-Hwa Wang:

Years ago, I took a seminar called, "Raising Strong and Confident Daughters." My husband laughed at me, "Could our daughters be any stronger or more confident?"

The class was an eye-opener, not just in how to raise my girls, but also in understanding my own Chinese American childhood. I had no memory of dealing with a lot of the issues the instructor talked about as being so important to preadolescent girls, such as friendships and physical appearances.

At first I thought that I must have been just so low on the social totem pole, because of race and nerdiness, that I had given up hope of competing in those arenas. Then I found a Wellesley study of Boston middle-school girls’ self-esteem along racial and ethnic lines and discovered that girls of different ethnic backgrounds based their sense of self-esteem on different factors. It made perfect sense once somebody said it out loud. (click on link for more)

Raising confident daughters of color while not forgetting Obama is black - AnnArbor.com

Adventures in Multicutural Living: The 'Asian fail' and having fun with the model-minority myth and other stereotypes - AnnArbor.com

From IMDiversity.com Asian American Village Editor Frances Kai-Hwa Wang

Three summers ago, my 70-year-old father, who has been after me for years to finish my PhD, had a sudden post-retirement revelation, “It does not matter how many degrees you have; what matters is that you are a good person and live a happy life.”

He then turned to the kids and said, “You do not have to get good grades or go to a good college, you just have to learn how to be a good person and be happy.”

The children and I stared at him, mouths dropped open in disbelief, “Who are you and what have you done with my real father?” (click on link for more)

The 'Asian fail' and having fun with the model-minority myth and other stereotypes - AnnArbor.com

Adventures in Multicultural Living: We gain so much from wading in the water of each other's cultural experiences - AnnArbor.com

IMDiversity.com Asian American Village Editor Frances Kai-Hwa Wang's Adventures in Multicultural Living column:

Two years ago, my father’s choir at the University of Hawaii was invited to sing at a big international diversity concert at Lincoln Center in New York for MLK Day. Choirs from around the world had been invited to sing together, and a Hawaiian choir adds instant diversity with its multicultural population of Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Filipino, Portuguese, Caucasians and native Hawaiians. That summer, over a breakfast of Chinese pancakes and Portuguese sausage, my father told us about the difficulties he had had the night before at choir practice pronouncing the words in the spirituals that they were learning, “You have to say the words like a Negro,” he said.

Twelve-year-old Hao Hao gently corrected him: “African American. These days you should say African American.” (I bet Senator Reid wishes his grandchildren had told him this, too.) (click on link for more)

We gain so much from wading in the water of each other's cultural experiences - AnnArbor.com

Adventures in Multicultural Living: Living in harmony in a great world house on MLK Day - AnnArbor.com

IMDiversity.com Asian American Village editor Frances Kai-Hwa Wang writes in her Adventures in Multicultural Living Column:

In Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s Nobel Peace Prize lecture, given in 1964, he talks about the idea of a house, “We have inherited a big house, a great ‘world house’ in which we have to live together - black and white, Easterners and Westerners, Gentiles and Jews, Catholics and Protestants, Moslem and Hindu, a family unduly separated in ideas, culture, and interests who, because we can never again live without each other, must learn, somehow, in this one big world, to live with each other.”

I love the imagery of that house, so easy to picture. A nice Victorian, neat and trim, brightly painted, purple and pink, warm lights shining through lace curtains, with all the peoples of the world living in harmony together inside - everyone happily cooking together, feasting and celebrating, sharing the bounty of the garden, raking leaves and shoveling snow with the seasons, emptying the dishwasher, doing the laundry, vacuuming the floor, fixing the car, fighting for the bathroom…

Wait. But how do you do that, exactly? (click on link for more)

Living in harmony in a great world house on MLK Day - AnnArbor.com

Adventures in Multicultural Living: Little Brother's many older brothers - AnnArbor.com

From IMDiversity.com Asian American Village Editor Frances Kai-Hwa Wang:

At 10:00 pm every Friday night, Mr. Pao, the Administrator of Students, rings the bell for everyone to go home, and…nobody moves. What kind of Chinese School is this that nobody is anxious to leave at 10:00 pm on a Friday night? Everyone, parents and teachers and students, are still talking and laughing, lingering a few more moments together, just one more person to catch. I slowly round up all my children from all their extracurricular classes—gu zheng, kung fu, yo-yo, art—find their coats, pick up their backpacks, and slowly make our way towards the front door.

But where is Little Brother?

I walk up and down all the hallways, ask the parents of all his little friends, check the upstairs and the gym and outside the back door. I finally find him in the multipurpose room, in the center of a big circle of teenagers, all twice his height (which is why I did not see him earlier), holding forth about his favorite Pokemon. Serious stuff.

Two of the teenagers, Brian and Stephanie, are fighting over him again, “Who do you like better? Me or her?” (click on link for more)

Little Brother's many older brothers - AnnArbor.com

Adventures in Multicultural Living: Oh! Oshogatsu! Missing Japanese New Year's Day - AnnArbor.com

The doorbell rings. The dog barks. I turn on the porch light, open the front door, and…

No one is there. Then I look down. A package!

Ooh, I was not expecting any more Christmas presents. I bend down to pick it up, and I hear the unmistakable sound of…

Rice.

A box of rice. A very big box of rice. Who would ship me a very big box of rice?

I stagger into the house, the sound of trickling and flowing rice filling my ears, and I put the very big box down on the kitchen table. I look at the label to see who in the world would FedEx me a very big box of rice and smile when I read, “Koda Farms.” (click on link for more)

Adventures in Multicultural Living: Wishing for an American New Year's Eve - AnnArbor.com

From IMDiversity.com Asian American Village Editor Frances Kai-Hwa Wang:

Oh the excitement of New Year’s Eve! The perfect little black dress, impossibly high heels, dazzling rhinestones, an invitation to THE New Year’s Eve party of the year, a handsome and suave “New Year’s Eve Date,” a fluted glass of champagne, cute foods, counting down with the crowd, getting magically kissed right at the stroke of midnight (the primary purpose of said “New Year’s Eve Date”), singing Auld Lang Syne with one’s dearest friends, starting on that new year’s resolution to lose ten pounds (tomorrow)…

Oh the glamour! The style! The fantasy! As the child of immigrants, with my nose pressed up against the glass, it all seemed so exquisitely “American” and romantic, “better” in a way that as a child I had somehow decided that cars with trunks, ten-speed bikes, store-bought clothes, Adidas running shoes, and the symphony must be “better” and “more American,” because they were things “real Americans” (read Caucasian Americans) took for granted but which my sensible immigrant family would never indulge. I thought we were so uncultured and uncouth. (click on link for more)

Wishing for an American New Year's Eve - AnnArbor.com

Adventures in Multicultural Living: Is Christmas any less Christian if you put up a Bodhi Day tree? - AnnArbor.com

From IMDiversity.com Asian American Village editor Frances Kai-Hwa Wang:

One of my daughter’s Jewish friends from preschool once said that she liked coming to our house this time of year because we were the only other people who did not have a Christmas tree, either. Her mother described the conflict her child felt at school having to do Christmas-themed art projects such as decorating trees, which, regardless of what you call them, are still Christmas trees. Even a 5-year-old could see this.

It felt good to know that she found comfort in our home, although I had to confess that the real reason we did not have a Christmas tree at that time was that we used to always travel over the holidays. I was raised Catholic. We do celebrate Christmas. However, we did it reflexively.

So then I nearly scared my children to death with the pronouncement, “Now that we’re Buddhist, maybe we shouldn’t celebrate Christmas anymore.” (click on link for more)

Is Christmas any less Christian if you put up a Bodhi Day tree? - AnnArbor.com

Adventures in Multicultural Living: Learning about Christmas and Santa through the claymation classics - AnnArbor.com

from IMDiversity.com Asian American Village Editor Frances Kai-Hwa Wang:

Asian American journalist Lisa Ling once said on The View that as a child she thought Santa liked Caucasian children better than Chinese children because he always left much better and bigger gifts, like stereos, for her Caucasian friends, whereas he only left small gifts, like batteries and toothbrushes, in her stocking.

When I heard that, it was as if I was hearing silver bells. I always got batteries and toothbrushes in my stocking, too. I had grown up thinking that gifts from Santa always had to be small in order to fit inside the stocking.

It was not until I was in my 30’s that I discovered that some people received gifts from Santa that not only spilled out of their stockings, but covered the floor and piled up as high as the Christmas tree. Some people did not even bother hanging up stockings by the chimney with care, as they knew their gifts would be bigger than that. Is that allowed? (click on link for more)

Learning about Christmas and Santa through the claymation classics - AnnArbor.com

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Learning about Christmas and Santa through the claymation classics - NAM EthnoBlog

Adventures in Multicultural Living: Emily Hsiao: a role model for my children, an inspiration for me - AnnArbor.com

IMDiversity.com Asian American Village editor Frances Kai-Hwa Wang writes about a cool APA young adult and the importance of APA role models for all of us:

My first memory of Emily Hsiao is from 11 years ago, when she and a bunch of her little 7-year-old girlfriends were sitting in a tree yelling “Kiss! Kiss!” at my daughter and Emily’s little brother, who, since they were both 3 years old at the time, would oblige, much to the giggles of the 7-year-old girls sitting in the tree.

As she grew older, I often asked Emily to babysit so my girls could develop a relationship with an older sister who could later lead the way for them and talk to them about teenage girl stuff should the need ever arise. I wanted to surround my children with positive role models, both famous (poor Tiger) and local, so I was always looking for cool Asian American and multiracial teenagers and young adults who could lead and inspire my children (and occasionally babysit too). However, I never thought that some of these kids might become role models for me, too. (click on link for more)

Emily Hsiao: a role model for my children, an inspiration for me - AnnArbor.com

Photo courtesy of Andrew Fang at www.photasa.com.

Adventures in Multicultural Living: Wanting 'one right way' - resisting multiculturalism, diversity, tolerance - AnnArbor.com

from IMDiversity.com Asian American Village editor Frances Kai-Hwa Wang:

Years ago, a friend from Chicago was visiting right around dinnertime, when we decided to make noodles or pasta for dinner. I started boiling the water and rummaging around for some vegetables when he declared, “That’s not how you make pasta!”

I was surprised because my family is northern Chinese and so I have been eating and making noodles all my life. I was speechless when he pushed me aside in my own kitchen and instructed me on How To Make Noodles—by peeling and mincing the garlic just so and drizzling the noodles with olive oil. Years later, I learned that this recipe is called pasta aioli, and is certainly one way of making noodles, but in his mind, it was the only way to make noodles, and I was wrong for wanting to make them any other way. (He thought I was wrong for crushing the garlic with my grandmother’s cleaver, too.)

Soon thereafter, I was at an Italian couple’s home with a group of friends when dinnertime overtook us. Our hosts started making pasta with a simple marinara sauce to feed everybody. All the women gathered around the kitchen, ooohing and ahhhing and watching and learning until someone commented, “You’re such a good cook.” Cici with her long white hair and throaty accent was completely unimpressed, “I am not a good cook, I am just Italian.” (click on link for more)

Wanting 'one right way' - resisting multiculturalism, diversity, tolerance - AnnArbor.com

Adventures in Multicultural Living: The Sunday after Thanksgiving: The post-holiday debriefing - AnnArbor.com

From IMDiversity.com Asian American Village Editor Frances Kai-Hwa Wang:

The Sunday after Thanksgiving: The day we pack up, gratefully drive back to our own home in our own town with our own way of doing things, and are stuck in the car together for hours and have no choice but to talk to each other. It is a time to reflect on the (peculiar) people we met and the (wacky) things that happened, and it is a chance to talk to the kids about what is really important to us as a family. I call it the post-holiday debriefing (and I recommend this in my Multicultural Toolbox workshops as one strategy for combating racism and intolerance in the extended family).

Let me preface this by saying my children attend a school named Martin Luther King Jr. Elementary. They know about racism and they know about resistance. Three of the four children are strong and tough girls, so much so that Little Brother used to put his head down and cry, “I don’t have any Girl Power.” Add on that their mother is a writer on multicultural issues and a civil rights activist who speaks out on behalf of others. We are not easy people to have over for dinner. (click on link for more)

The Sunday after Thanksgiving: The post-holiday debriefing - AnnArbor.com